


Dream of You in Blue

by wifebeast__s



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Closure, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Image Prompt, Tumblr Prompt, so many tears, some explicit content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 04:22:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8235947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wifebeast__s/pseuds/wifebeast__s
Summary: A dream brings back memories of a beach where she and Nate went after getting married.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [likegoodangels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/likegoodangels/gifts).



> Entry for @likegoodangels's October image prompt ([here](http://likegoodangels.tumblr.com/post/151236875962/october-2016-image-prompt)).
> 
> This idea came to me immediately. I wrote it, then went to a work conference, and then came back to post it. Now here it is.

Dani remembered this place – the silent beach that stretched for miles, and the expanse of blue ocean that ended somewhere near forever. She and Nate came here for their kind-of-but-not-really-honeymoon. It wasn't anywhere special, really, just a long drive down the coast to an old ocean-side park that had fallen out of favor with people looking for more creature comforts. 

They didn't have camping equipment; they had their car and some blankets, sandwiches packed in a cooler, and a bottle of cheap whiskey to pass between them.

_God, she could almost smell the salt in the air._

They set out early and still seemed to get there late. There had only been one other group there, a foursome probably on a double date. They looked young. Dani and Nate were young, but she didn't feel it. They had grown up too fast, Nate's mom would say with a sad shake of her head, just before pulling Dani in for a hug. 

“I love your mom,” she had told Nate.

He laughed. He also agreed.

They had laid out a blanket, then laughed about how they didn't think to bring more and would now be tracking sand into the car. The whiskey was passed, sandwiches eaten, and the sun was almost ready to set when they finally braved the water.

It was so cold. But they were in the army, and they had grown up in the Commonwealth. They were undeterred. 

Dani was the one who found it – a cave tucked away down the beach. It was small, and really, calling it a cave was probably doing it a favor, but there was a strip of dry sand within and it was shielded from view.

She remembered Nate wagging his eyebrows suggestively, and her shrieking with laughter when he scooped her up and damn near slammed his head against the roof of the outcropping. 

They had been married for a week by then, but it may as well have been the near decade they'd known each other. Nate had said as much, as he dragged his lips over her neck, down to her collarbone, where he bit the ridge of it.

“This bathing suit is sinful, Dani,” he breathed.

“Should probably get rid of it, then.”

He chuckled, but he tugged at the string in the back anyway. When the tie was loose, Dani pulled it over her head, and Nate shook his head with a groan, “Even worse, baby.”

She smiled, pulling him down to one of her breasts, “Oh, Nate, it's ok. We're married now.”

He lapped at the nipple in front of him, bit down gently, eliciting a moan from her, “And I am fucking grateful for that.”

Then he had stopped. Dani blinked, so confused, then worried, “What's wrong?”

Nate had cupped her arm, stroked down it to cover her hand with his. He had looked so insecure in that moment, for what may have been the first time she had seen him like that. His gaze was cast down and away from her. Her worry grew.

His grip tightened, “I'm sorry we couldn't do anything more. You know, like a big wedding or whatever.”

Dani blinked, taking in what he said. She thought about what a wedding would have been like. Their army friends, and his mom. A...priest? She had laughed. She had _giggled_ , actually, and he looked so offended.

“Hey! I'm trying to be real with you here, baby. You deserved-”

“Nate,” she gasped through her mirth, “think about it. Us in a church? Surrounded by who? Everyone who needed to be with us was with us. The paper signing was just a formality to ensure that we don't get separated.”

He grunted – maybe it had been a laugh. A little one.

“I appreciate it, though,” she added softly, squeezing the hand that had covered hers and not moved.

“I want to give you everything,” he muttered.

Dani shook her head, “I don't want everything. I just want you.”

Neither of them had ever been good with the feelings stuff, so he just smiled, gave her his best smolder, “Well that I can arrange.”

He swallowed her following laughter with his lips and tongue, pulling her flush against him. She had never gotten over how amazing it was to press into him, the way his arms would slide around her lower back, enveloping her entirely. 

For her part, she trailed her fingers through his short-cropped hair, running her nails down the back of his neck and seeking the slightly raised flesh that marked the tattoos on his back. She delighted in the shiver that that always caused. 

He had drawn patterns in her skin, dragged his hands down her sides, tugged the bottom of her bathing suit away and settled between her thighs. He pushed her legs up, tucked his shoulders beneath them and bit the inside of her thigh before teasing her clit with his tongue.

And then he had gone to town – coaxing an orgasm from her with the same intense focus that he always gave her. She was a trembling puddle beneath him by the time he finished, letting her legs drop and kissing her stomach, up the valley of her breasts, until he met her lips again.

She had lined him up at her entrance, arched beneath him, and murmured curses into his kiss when he entered her.

They had fucked on the beach before – in many places; as teenagers in need of privacy often did, they had gotten creative in ways to stay hidden. 

But that time had been different. Their pants and moans echoed in the space, not loud, but enough to amplify the sounds, enough to surround themselves in them. Nate had often times promised to love her forever, and she never doubted it; he did so again that evening, hand cupping her face, as he stopped moving for a moment to gaze into her eyes. 

Nate had been so beautiful there – open and so _Nate_. Nate, who was branded on her soul and in her heart. Nate who completed the missing pieces of her. Nate who loved her, despite her flaws. Nate who had always been there. Nate, her rock, her love, her _Nate_.

Dani remembered this place. Seeing it was torture. She gasped into her hand, took a step back, as if being physically struck. Why was she seeing this now, of all times? Nate was gone, she had to remind herself, so real was the feeling of him being there.

She looked down at herself, wearing the same swimsuit she had worn that day. Down the beach were four hazy shapes, sitting or standing in a group. And when she turned away from them...there he was.

A choked sob escaped her throat, and she wanted so desperately to touch him.

“Baby, are you ok?”

She said nothing for a long moment, just stared, hand out, as if to touch him,“I miss you,” she breathed, “fuck, I miss you so much.”

Nate smiled, “I'm right here, babe.”

She studied his face. It was Nate, but it wasn't Nate. There were details missing, she knew. But she couldn't remember them. His voice – it sounded _off_ , though she couldn't pinpoint why. She was forgetting them, she realized, the little details, the tiny things that made the sum of his parts.

She reached out a trembling hand to touch his cheek, and nearly broke down again when she felt it, warm and firm beneath her palm, “Oh god. Why did they take you from me?”

His eyes narrowed, “They didn't. They never could.”

She shook her head, finding she couldn't pull her hand away, “It's been so hard without you. This place is hell on Earth.”

His hand covered hers.

“Although,” she sighed with a slightly bitter smile, “I went to the old neighborhood, and it looks about the same.”

He laughed at that. She smiled. If Nate was laughing, then it confirmed this was a dream. And she found strange comfort in that.

Dani pulled away her hand, “ I found Shaun, but...he called you collateral damage. I killed him.”

Nate frowned, “Did you believe it was the right thing to do?”

She shrugged, “I don't know if it even matters anymore. This new world doesn't fit into the boxes of the old one. It's just been so hard, holding onto myself.”

His hand took hers, and she could feel her eyes welling up, “You just have to find your place, baby. Find where you belong; find something that gets you through, if it doesn't make you happy.”

“I want to be with you,” she whispered.

“You are. I told you I'd be with you forever, right? I meant that. Just think about all those religions that talk about reincarnation, right? I'll just keep coming back and finding you.”

She looked at him, “Is it really you?”

He didn't answer, just stroked her cheek with his thumb, “Hey, let's go get in the water before it gets too dark and too cold.”

That's what he said, she remembered, just before they went in, before they found that cave. 

She nodded, “Yeah, ok.”

Dani's heart was racing. She danced along the lines of elation and despair. She took in the lines of his back, watched his movements, noting everything that seemed off, but noting everything that was the same, too. They reached the cave together this time.

Nate whistled, “I have a few ideas of what we could do in here.”

“I'm sure you do,” she laughed.

He kissed her, and it broke her heart. It wasn't _right_.

“You're dead,” she gasped.

“What?”

“They shot you, Nate. They shot you in the vault, and you're not here. We're not on this beach. I'm forgetting things. I'm forgetting the details of your tattoos, the little scar on your face, the cadence of your speech,” she sobbed, covering her face with her hands.

His arms wrapped around her, “Shhhh. Shh, baby, it's ok. That's ok.”

“I don't want to forget,” she cried.

His breath was warm against her ear, “I know, Dani. But that's the way the world works, right? You may forget the little things, but those aren't important. If you remember the things I taught you, the way I made you feel – I made you happy, right?”

She looked up at him, at his face, concerned that he had failed her somehow, “Every day.”

“Remember those things, then,” he murmured, burying his face in her hair.

A wave of guilt crashed over her, “Nate?”

“Hmmm?”

“I met someone.”

He said nothing, just continued to hold her. So she continued.

“I spent almost a year alone, looking for Shaun, getting revenge. And then I stumbled onto this camp, and...I don't know. He just, I guess he just understood me. He's been so patient about things, too. He's not, you know, all touchy-feely and shit,” she almost chuckled.

“Does he make you smile?”

She nodded against his chest.

“And does he have your back?”

“Yes,” she breathed.

“Good. You don't need to be alone, Dani. You don't have to feel guilty. I told you I'd love you forever, and I do. Do you still love me?”

“So much.”

“Then we haven't broken our promises, right?”

“Right.”

He pulled away, cupped her face with his hands, and gazed in to her eyes. His eyes were the same. Those she hadn't forgotten.

“Listen to me, Dani. You have to let me go now, ok? I can't be the weight that drags you down – I never wanted that. I want you to be happy, and if you've found something that will make you happy, I want you to go for it. Go all in.”

Despite her best efforts, she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks, “I don't know how.”

His thumbs caught the tears, swept them away, “You just have to say goodbye.”

She shook her head but said nothing.

Nate smiled, “It's time, baby. You're in a new world. Go start your new life, for real. If this new guy makes you happy, then he deserves all of you.”

She stared up at him, still amazed by him.

“Just say goodbye.”

She took a deep breath, “I love you.”

“I know.”

Another deep, shuddering breath, and she took a step back. His hands fell from her face to his sides, and he looked out at the ocean beyond the cave.

“Nate?”

He turned back to her.

“You and me,” she whispered.

He smiled – a sad one – and said nothing, but she knew.

She took another step back, wiping away at her eyes, “Goodbye, baby.”

He gave her a wink and turned, walking out of the cave. All details disappeared, as he became a silhouette in the light of the setting sun, disappearing slowly against the backdrop of the expanse of the ocean.

She dropped to her knees, sobbing into her hands.

Her eyes snapped open, and she sat up, taking frantic breaths. She looked around, recognizing her surroundings. She was in bed at the top of Fizztop. She felt the mattress shift.

“Hey,” Gage's voice sounded groggy, “what's wrong?”

Dani turned to look at him. She took in his features, the look of concern in his eye and breathed deeply, “Sorry. I just..I had a dream.”

He studied her as well, clearly not convinced, “You ok, boss?”

Another deep breath, and she gave a slight nod, “Yeah, Gage. I'm ok.”

He paused, then nodded slightly before reaching out and tugging her back down to the mattress and against him. She felt his breath on her neck, then his lips, before he whispered, “You and me.”


End file.
